Some Tired Silly Fool I've Become
by greymcdreamysgh
Summary: Standalone. Slightly AU in that its in the future but everything's basically the same. Some gratuitious MerDer fluff of where I'd like to see them eventually end up...married with a baby, all that good stuff. The song is Qu'estce Que C'est by Tony Lucca


**A/N: **SlightlyAU in that everything's the same, it's just in the future. Some gratuitious Mer/Der fluff of where I'd like to see them eventually end up...married with a baby, all that good stuff. Thanks for reading:) The song is "Qu'est-ce Que C'est" by Tony Lucca.  
**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately, I don't own GA, any of the characters, etc.

_Madame, ma belle,  
Qu'est-ce que c'est, me too.  
J'écoute mais je ne comprend pas bien.  
You did say I love you, no  
_

Meredith used to be able to sleep through anything. In college, this was both a blessing and a curse - the primary reason for her poor final grade in her sophomore year sociology class, but also the godsend that left her blissfully unaware of her roommate's awkward sexual escapades that occurred at all hours of the night. In medical school, sleeping became a luxury. Meredith began going for quality, since she no longer had the time for quantity. How she managed to survive the long hours and nights of the living dead as a surgeon, she still wasn't quite sure. All she knew was that her days of sleeping through noises equivalent to moderate explosions had long since passed. Anything that even remotely sounded like a pager startled her so quickly out of catnaps now, and had her running towards her patients. This is kind of the same thing, she mumbled to herself, fumbling for the beeping cell phone that rested on the pillow next to her.

Slowly, she slung her legs over the side of the bed, and padded barefoot across the hardwood. She rubbed her eyes and glanced at the clock, blinking 2:37 AM. Wednesday night and all the sane people in Seattle are asleep, she thought, running a hand through her unruly bangs. Glancing back at her unmade bed, sheets rumpled on both sides, she corrected herself. Maybe she wasn't the only one awake at this hour.

_Some tired silly fool I've become,  
So unaware  
Don't mind me if I seem a little shy  
Can't find the words anywhere_

His sweatpants hung low on her hips; they were too big for her, but they were what she most liked to sleep in these days. Hastily, she pulled them up a little and continued downstairs into the living room, where the soft blue light of the TV lit up the room. She bit her lip, leaning against the doorway and just watching for a second before she made her presence known.

Growing up, Meredith didn't have the fairytale childhood. In fact, with one of the country's most preeminent surgeons for a mother, and a father who no longer existed in her world, Meredith spent more nights with a babysitter than she did with her own family. Hers was a family in name only, a formality that was the least complicated way to explain her household, and something that her mother referred to only reluctantly when asked by colleagues whom she considered less driven than she. For Meredith, what she saw in that living room was a long time coming, something she never would have thought twice about missing out on, until now that she had it.

"He's never gonna sleep through the night if we're keeping him awake, Derek," she finally said softly, smiling at her husband's own bed-head as he looked up at her.

"What are you doing up?" he asked as she joined him on the couch. "We were just about to come find you."

"Every three hours, every day, every night," she said. "My little guy needs to keep putting on weight."

"Yes, he does," Derek agreed, passing the child he held in his arms over to his mother.

Meredith took him into the crook of her arm so naturally that the tenderness of it almost took Derek's breath away. The baby snuggled closer to her and greedily latched on as she lifted her shirt and offered him her breast. Relaxing, he curled up into a ball, his tiny hand resting on Meredith's chest. Derek smiled and kissed the baby's head. "That's it," he encouraged his son. "Gain that weight, Mommy and I don't want you going back to the NICU, ok? Your doctor says you have to stay over five pounds, so you're doing good. Keep it up, Max," he said proudly.

_Straight into your ocean eyes  
I'm diving deep, diving down  
Captivate me, hypnotize me  
So, so, so _

She couldn't take her eyes off him. Two weeks hadn't been enough time yet to memorize every single thing about this boy. Something changed every day. She'd have to cut those tiny nails tomorrow so that he wouldn't scratch himself while he was sleeping, she noted, the protective role of mother fitting her more comfortably than she ever thought it would. Her son had long, delicate fingers, and hands that gripped her own with such intensity that it took her aback the first time he did it. He had the hands of a surgeon, she realized, tracing the little lines on one of his palms. Her own mother would have been so pleased.

Meredith had already memorized the exact, very distinct, way that his mouth curved into a bow, and for her birthday had already told Derek that she wanted a bouquet of roses the exact color of the flush of his cheeks. She knew by heart the way his nose rounded at the end, how his skin was still a little bit wrinkly, like he hadn't quite grown into it yet, and today she had discovered that his second toe was the same size as his big one, the way hers were. She smiled as she ran her fingers across the top of his head, smoothing what little hair he had down. Her friends had been playfully teasing Derek for two weeks about where their son had gotten such fine, wispy hair, the color of peach fuzz. Surely not from him, they joked. Those blue eyes gave him away though; he was his father's son. 

Ça va bien  
Smile on my face again  
Your name transcribed upon it  
Hair down to my pinky toe  
Radiate a fuzzy glow  
A baby's face wrapped in a bonnet now

"What were you guys watching?" she asked Derek while she watched Max lazily, tickling his foot for a second when he drifted to sleep.

"Sportscenter," Derek said. "World Series time, Mer," he said. "Gotta teach him how to root for the Yankees."

"Why would you wanna teach him that?" Meredith replied playfully.

"He'll be a New York fan. Yankees are a close third, right after God and family. Mommy's from Boston, Max, I told you she wouldn't understand."

"Mommy likes the Red Sox. Wouldn't you want to cheer for the Red Sox with Mommy?" she asked as the baby looked up at her, eyes blissfully half-closed.

"Ah, yes," Derek interjected. "We talked about this a little while ago, didn't we, buddy? Mommy doesn't even _like _baseball. Mommy's never even been to a game," he continued.

"Well, still," Meredith shrugged, sitting the baby up on her knee and cradling his head in one hand while patting and rubbing his back with the other. Gently, she coaxed a burp out of him before putting him back to her breast to continue eating.

"You know, this is pretty cool," Derek whispered after a few minutes, watching the baby fall asleep in her arms.

"What is?" she asked.

"Us calling you Mommy and me Daddy," he said, kissing the top of her head. "Carrying a picture of him in my wallet, telling the chief I have to get home to my son. It's pretty cool," he repeated.

"It is," she agreed, her eyes meeting his and her lips following suit. "It's pretty cool being somebody's mom."

"If Cristina could see us now," Derek chuckled.

"We're floaty and mushy," she finished for him.

"We are," he replied. "Hey, Max, how do you feel about having a couple of floaty, mushy surgeons for parents?" he asked, laughing when the baby simply yawned. "Fair enough," he grinned. "Here, Mer, I'll put him in his bassinette."

"That's ok, I got him. Just wanna make sure he's definitely out before we move him," she said. "You go on to bed."

"Ok," he said. "I love you," he murmured, kissing her softly. "Night, buddy. Love you too," he said as he kissed the baby. "Mer, come to bed soon," he said, turning off the TV and disappearing up the stairs and into the bedroom.

_Hopeful as a summer breeze  
I'm dreaming, day dreaming now  
Patiently I wait for you to find me, find me  
I'm carefree like a melody  
I'm falling free, falling now  
Straight on through these clouds to you  
If I may_

"Your Daddy is pretty great, huh, little man?" she asked, reclining back onto the couch and allowing Max to curl up on her stomach. "I think so anyway," she trailed off. She put her hands on his back to keep him there, yawning as her exhaustion caught up to her. "You're pretty sleepy yourself, huh?" she asked tenderly. Her son sucked on one of his fists, eyes closed and lost in some dream world. "Daddy does this thing where he likes to talk about stuff in the middle of the night. Sometimes he'll tell you more at three in the morning than any other time of day," she said. "Like after I told him you were coming, he would tell you all kinds of stories. I don't know if you remember, all about the surgeries he did that day, or the book he was reading, a song he heard on the radio on the way to work, just all kinds of stuff…."

"You know, Mommy didn't have this kind of thing growing up, so I love that we can give this to you. Your grandmother isn't the easiest to deal with these days, cause she's got this thing called Alzheimer's…anyway, it's just been a mess for a long time, and she's never really been that proud of me. But I know if she could know you, she'd know that I've done at least one thing exactly right." 

Oh mais oui, ma belle  
Qu'est-ce que c'est  
I do  
J'écoute mais  
Je ne parle pas bien  
I just wanna say  
I love you  
I love you  
I love you

Meredith woke with a start, the beginnings of sunlight streaming through the living room window as she felt the baby leave her arms. "Good morning, beautiful," Derek smiled, cradling the baby in his right arm.

A little startled, she looked around and it took her a second to realize she had fallen asleep on the couch with Max. "What time is it?" she asked groggily.

"A little after six," he replied, "I'm sorry to wake you, I just wanted to say goodbye to you and Max before I left for the hospital."

"No, that's ok. It's time for him to eat again anyway," she said, sitting up and taking the baby back from Derek. "What do you have going on today?" she asked.

"Craniopharyngioma at 8, but so far nothing else, unless a trauma comes in."

"You might not want to tell the patient that you were up until 3 AM with a newborn at home," she teased.

"Coffee's God's gift to surgeons, Mer," he grinned, toasting the idea with his travel mug.

"Surgeons, new parents," Meredith said. "What's the difference?"

"In terms of sleep? Not much," Derek agreed with a grin. "Oh, Izzie mentioned something about coming over today after work. She wanted to see Max, and she figured you'd want to be filled in on all the gossip you're missing while you're on leave."

"Yeah, that'd be good," she said. "Tell her today to come over when she gets off."

"I will," Derek promised. "Ok, Max, Daddy's gotta go to work, so you be good while you're hanging out with Mommy today. Try not to do anything too adorable until I get back."

"Say, 'Daddy, I'll see what I can do for you, but I'm doing adorable things all the time, so hurry back,'" Meredith answered for him in the cutesiest voice she could muster.

"Bye, Mer," he laughed, catching her lips in his for a quick kiss. "Bye, little guy," he said, leaning down to press his lips against his son's forehead. "I'll be home soon."

Ça va bien  
Smile on my face again


End file.
